the year ender (2006)
2006 has been a tough year. I’m tired. I am weak, and people were disappointed with my decision and actions. I am on my way up with regards to my career. I had the attention I dreamed of. The love I’ve been looking for. But everything was taken immediately. I though I had everything under control until one irrevocable action create an unexpected consequence that I could turn my back.
I wish I could turn back time. I could return on that day and made it all different, maybe just maybe, everybody is happy and in their rightful places and right person to be with.
I always ask, God why? did I do something that I deserve to be condemned this way. Am I that bad that I deserve such treatment.
I had a perfect life before almost, though I am hurt, I still have my positive outlook in life. Enough energy to recover. But the biggest test has yet to come, now I am tasting the sweet appetizer of this great responsibility.
I lost everything. Every single thing I worked hard for. I lost my strength, person I trusted, family I have loved, friends I can run to, freedom and my sanity.
I am trying to pick small pieces of me. I made it all wrong, people judge me for it. Some blame me.
I gotta stand on my own. Do it my way. Look for my happiness and find myself in the wilderness.
New Year will be approaching, expect the unexpected, be prepared, brace myself and be strong. Not only for me but now for Caleb.
What is instated in 2007? What will happen next? Nobody knows. God has plans, I got good people telling me the right thing to do. Is this what God had wanted me to do? How would I know?
Fate. Destiny. Reality.
Consequences of my previous decisions, I could never go back and alter, change course and go elsewhere. But I just have to be very careful not to be submerged in the deepest and darkest place I never imagined I’ll be in.
New me. I gotta do it. It has to be done. Right here right now. No more time left, as I bid 2006 goodbye, I have to face 2007. Let the past be some bittersweet memories and I shouldn’t be dragged down and back to the place I never wanted and dreamed of.
I can’t afford to lose what I have in my cradle of life, this the sign of the new beginning.
