04.02.08 (9:56 am)
I am sorry.
I can’t tell you how much I am.
The small arguement that resulted to a big discussion and cursing. My uncontrollable emotion. The self pity and pride. I can’t tell you I’m sorry cause it will not help. I was wrong. My emotion drive me crazy. I said what should just have been kept.
Yes, I am sick. A sickness that will brought upon my end. The death of passion and patience.
I am such a brat, demanding bitch. I’ve been uncontented and paranoid. I’ll never get over the phobia gained from the tragedy I just survive. Or maybe I’m wrong I never overcome it at all.
I still stuck in the darkness of bitterness and regret. Shame on me.
When I look back, I’ve got so disappointed with what I’ve become. I’ve been a big failure. I tried to cover it up. But everyday it upsets me. I tried to be positive but fate is testing my faith.
I gave up. I tried to change. I tried to bear the pain. I tried to shut up. I can’t live in total silence. My heart was crushed and soul was torn into pieces.
I can’t even express myself. I would want to loose all the senses I’ve got. Be blind to see bad things. Mute and deaf to avoid arguement.
I wanted to be a child and just simply enjoy what was set and provided to me.
It’s been a big burden in my heart. I can’t set myself free from worries.
I always fear of the agony and scream for justice. I dwell on the wound that never heals.
I looked upon some scars left by my past.
This is such a gloomy entry on my-so-called alter ego. But this is the only place I could release my deeper thoughts.
I can’t feel a thing right now.
My body is numb and my heart is enlarged yet it is hollow. My brain is filled with spaces.
My perspective is blurry. The future is uncertain. My thoughts were scattered.
Waiting……
preconceived notions
unexpected outbursts due to stressful circumstances often manifest in destructive behavior.
when will this madness end.
